Nothing exemplifies more the value placed upon our Relationships than the awesome crucifixion and resurrection of God’s son. The crucifixion and resurrection enable us to enjoy renewed relationships with God and with one another- to love the Lord our God with all our hearts, souls, mind and strength, and our neighbour as ourselves. Jesus never commands obedience beyond our abilities. He enjoins us to love one another promising, “By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another “(Jn. 13:35). The injunction to love our brother faces us more pointedly in 1 John 4:20,” If someone says, “I love God, and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen “.
Relationships with “our brother ” include a diversity of categories, all equally important, requiring from us the same love responses as God has toward us. These include:
A. Family
B. Authority
C. Fellow Christians
D. Non-Christians
E. The unlovable.
God has provided us with love principles in His word for us to follow in establishing godly relationships.
The family is the most central and essential aspect of our human relationships. When we enjoy good relationships in the home, we have an increased source of security and an ability to provide an atmosphere of blessing to others. However, not all of us are blessed with pleasant home situations. Many today bear scars of rejection, fear and hatred incurred in their childhood which continue to mar present relationships. In God’s word we are warned to,” see to it that no one comes short of the grace of God, that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled ” (Heb. 12:15) Our greatest hurts and disappointments in life result from broken relationships with our parents. Growing older does not heal these wounds. Time merely suppresses our reactions to the hurt, leaving us a human time bomb of frustration, anger and guilt.
God has provided a way out from the trap of bitterness through forgiveness. Jesus instructed us to pray:” forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us “(Matt.6:12). Forgiveness is the same bridge we allow others to cross that ensures our own passage to the Father. There are many hindrances to forgiveness:
A. Not choosing to forgive.
B. Failure to forgive oneself.
C. Jealousy.
D. Pride.
E. Lack of understanding God’s character.
F. Fear.
G. Failure to receive God’s forgiveness.
Submission to authority is central to the Gospel and mirrors our submission to God. Respect for authority is often rooted in the home, linked to our attitudes towards our parents. Perhaps this is one reason for God’s injunction to “Honor your father and mother that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God gives to you “(Ex.20:12).
We are also called upon to ‘submit yourselves to every human institution “(1peter 2:13). This is to be done willingly, not as men pleasers, but as unto the Lord. Even if we are forced to “disobey for conscience sake “, the Lord directs us to remain in an attitude of Submission to God and His body, the church, and prevent the entanglements of broken relationships and schism brought about through rebellion and pride.
In the body of Christ, our relationships must be based upon love and trust. This requires “outdoing one another in showing Honor, preferring one another in love, encouraging one another”. Unity is not just a religious movement determined by doctrinal agreement, but a mutually loving one another just as Christ loves the church. If we are to relate to the lost humanity of this world, if we are to bring them to Christ, we must first direct ourselves to a right relationship with God and with our brothers and sisters in Christ. Jesus prayed in John 17 that we would all be one; even as, “we are one: I in them, and Thou in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, that the world may know that Though didst send Me, and didst love them”. Through the inspiration of that fellowship, we will be enabled to share the love of God with the lost.
What ought we to do when we are confronted with someone who seems unlovable? Initially, we must understand what Christian love is. Love is not an automatic response of good feelings we have for some and cannot have for others. Love is not an exhilarating emotion, but a conscious choice of willing the highest good for God, others and oneself. Therefore, it is quite possible to love everybody: parents, authorities, fellow Christians, enemies, even ourselves!
Love challenges us and stretches us to become more like Jesus. The problem of loving the unlovable is not a lack of God’s power to love, but a lack of our cooperation to love others with strength. In cooperating with God, we must first go to Him in prayer. If there is any barrier in our relationship with our Father, the love of God will be hindered from operating freely in our lives. If we have sinned against others, we must take responsibility in restoring that relationship through repentance and confession, asking forgiveness for our actions. If they have sinned against us, we must forgive them……..”even seventy times seven.”
When we cry out to God in faith for His ability to love the unlovable, even though we may be weak and see very little to love, God can break through to give us increasing love. There must be a practical outworking of the love we receive by faith. We can begin by praying often for God to bless and strengthen the person. We should pray for them as if we were them, sensing their deepest needs and asking God to provide abundantly.
As we begin to intercede for their deepest needs, the bitterness, anger or aversion we have will be lifted by the mercy of God working in us. We must be specific in asking God for particular ways of presenting His love towards them. Even the smallest favour we do can prove the reality of the love we have received by faith. Love melts opposition. In judges 5:31, the word declares, “But let those who love Him be like the rising of the Sun in its might “. That is what the love of God is like: shedding light, warmth and power to others. Without the love of God, we only see faults and failures. With this fervent love, we are constantly accentuating the positive in our minds when we lo at a person. We are not saying what they are not, but we are expressing appreciation for all that is good in them.
Love is not blind to the weaknesses, but love just the same. Love changes us; then others. Love never fails.
